Just One Thing After Another
So One bad lodger down, Now one good lodger down.
The ecstatic joy of loosing a bad lodger, is soon nocked for six by finding that one of my better lodgers is now moving out, and I have to find two new lodgers. This is always a difficult time, and you have to balance financial needs with not making the same mistake twice. Right now I could do without my headache.
Go on Rub it in
I stuck me the other day - well yesterday actually, that the ex, who comes to visit our dog, never actually asks how I am. There are some other things that I would love to say right now about people, but I realise that this is not the medium for it, I’m not sure there is one. I’m not sure I wanted to see her ball dress that was accidentally delivered here, mostly because of the company that will surround it.
I’m just in such an angry mood
I am, everything is against me at the moment. My saving grace it that at least the short film seams to be finding its legs and i feel my football team may survive relegation. May. My mind has been pondering for two long about the events of last year, and I crave a break for it, it does me no good being this angry. Part of me just wants to shout out at the world to stop fucking me around. I don’t feel sorry for myself, but I do ask myself do I really deserve this. Why do I forgive people I trust for letting me down in such big ways? am I too forgiving? Christ did I actually do something really bad in a previous life?
I Suppose
At least I’m not grabbing at the past, I want to move on, be happy, and more then anything else, make some films. I do not want to let the things that have happened drag me underneath, there is far to much good in the future, so much do achieve. I need to use my staying power, my ability to to commit to people, to projects, to the future. The past makes us who we are and we get to become better by focussing on the better things in life. I intend to do that. There are external factors to deal with, some we have no control over - Derby tonight, who will buy my cars, who will fund my films, the banks - that TWAT, that has had a huge influence on my life that I hate beyond all reason… What can you do?
Laters,
Chalkster