I’m really happy at the moment, all the years of hard work seam to really be paying off and I really do think it is just about to happen.  Whether money in any quantity is made is almost irrelevant, I will be living and working my dream.   So that just leaves one last thing for me to do, and that is to loose the spare tyre and to keep the fucking thing off.  I think it will be easier this time as I’ve a really supporting network of friends unlike my early twenties when we all just took the piss out of each other.  I get the feeling that I’m the only person that thinks I’m fat, I’m comfortable enough to speak about it, even make jokes but still very fragile over it.  I guess its my Ikilies heal, but it seams to be healing over.  I think mostly because I no longer think everybody is making jokes about it or looking at me, I suspect they never did but its always in the back of your mind.

Stems from bulying

I remember walking across the quad in school and thinking everybody was joking and pointing at me, it left me paranoid.  I don’t think I could possibly have believed that I could be in such a strong place in my life, with so many interesting people, people who don’t judge on anything other then the mind.  I think because of that I’m ready to make the difference and loose this weight, then I think I can be truly happy.  I’m happy, happy and fat - don’t laugh though, I’m deadly serious about no longer being fat, I really am.

Mentally Strong

And that my freinds is what will get me through these chalanging times, I’ll be thin for the press releases I promise.

Laters,

Chalkster

I met a childhood hero last night, Kenneth Cope perhaps better known as Marty Hopkirk from the 1960’s TV show Randle and Hopkirk Deceased. We are often told never to meet your hero’s because it can ruin how you thought of them or they may turn out to be arses.  This was not the case at all.  A nicer man you are unlikely to meet.  I’m lucky enough to be friends with his son Mark, so it was a very nice environment to meet him.  He insisted on buying us drinks and being just lovely, as are the rest of his family.  You can see that his wife is still thoroughly in love with him too, which is fantastic.  I’ve only ever really scene that with my mum ad dad before.  So I did something very different for me, I asked to have my photo taken with him!  Only Maggie Philbin has ever had that pleasure before.

He did point out that we both had big belly’s, reinforcing that I really need to do something about mine.

You’re Shit Sherlock

I watched about half of the first of the “New” Sherlock Holmes last night when I got back.  Am I the only person to think that this is awful?  Only upon reading some other reviews dis I realise what I suspected at the back of my mind.  That this was the work of the people that made Dr. Who? How badly cast is the new Sherlock? Rather then seeming calculated and  astute he comes off as arrogant and “pricklike”.  In Fact he is almost a carbon copy of the latest Dr. Who? in Casting.  The biggest shame for me is that this comes at a time when America is ruling the airwaves in good quality T.V. and we in the U.K. need to really step up our game.  The quality of writing needs to be improved, how we cleverly re-invent things certainly needs a kick up the arse.  I cant help but think if we are not careful all we will be known for is mediocre children’s television.  Holmes was never meant to be a toned down program akin to CSI-USA, its an adult story with actually very clever deductions, done in a way that is intriguing.   So what we have done is take the worst bits of successful American shows and carefully made them into a kiddies show, taking one of our greatest treasures with it.  The thing with Dr. Who when it was reinvented was that it could not get any worse.  The latest addition of SH?  Well it cant get much worse, so there is some hope that it can get better?

And how do the Americans Re-Invent Sherlock?

By making the brilliant television series “House MD”, they don’t use his name, its House rather then Holmes and Wilson over Watson.  Oh and they cast amazing actors too.  Yes they do have the budget, but its been proven time over, that that is not the be all and end all.  Just be clever with how you put things together.   The shame is that because we have been conditioned to poor, poor lazy writing and show making, this new show will be a success at least for a little bit.  And Martin Freeman?  I really liked him up to this performance.  Now I’d struggle to cast him, I think this may have damaged his career.  And the guy in the lead role, fucking hell, what are you doing on screen - you are appalling.  Let alone playing such an impotent character.  I’m dismayed.  We used to make such good television.  Soon all we will be know for is Top Gear, but I suppose at least the acting is better in that.

Laters,

Chalkster

This week has a been a better week in the world of film making, or in fact the world of trying to get to the point where you are film making.  Its a tough gig at the best of times.  So when your driven to getting things happening right now, and I mean NOW, it becomes very difficult to have the long pauses between communication and meeting people and of course getting things done.   The last two weeks has been better, I’ve met with two very good producers, both seam to be very, very interested in the project.  As usual, both have different skill bases and it will eventually be down to the one who has the best skill set for this project combined with the most enthusiasm and of course “getting” the project. Its a great position to be in although I really don’t want to have to turn anybody that is interested, however this is probebly the first time in many situations that the choice will have to be maid.  It needs to be done in such a way that we don’t burn bridges, as I can see myelf working with both again.

Directors of Photography

I also met up with XiaoSu and Andreas, the Cinematographers that have agreed to work with us on “No Balls”, its impotent to me that I get on with whoever I’m going to work with as essentially I will be working more closely with them then anybody else I have ever worked with in my life before.  I need to know that we can buckle down and work hard, yet enjoy a beer.  That I can absolutely trust them to give me a great opinion.  I’ve seen their work and already know how fortunate we are to get what are likely to be two of the most sought after cinematographers in the future of film.  They have my enthusiasm for the project and of course come very highly rated.  I accompanied them to the Premiere of “BaseLine”, which they had DoP’d on.  The film to be fair was not great, it lacked strong directing, the timing was out by a mile and the edit needed to much tighter.  You could see by the way they talked and their body language that they felt that they had been hit by their work not having the right amount of follow up which was out of their hands.  The most important thing for me though is that I felt we Clicked.  I also introduced them to my friend who helps with the film and is a SteadyOp.  They got on really well and I feel an work really well together so good, good, good…

Downs

Well they happen too, although none of them are all that bad they do tend to hit quite hard.  Unfortunately one of them hit during a high I got a message saying that the person doing a re-write with us was not free until mid August. Witch is to late with filming due to start at the end of September.  having slept on it I do think we can reach a compromise, which will again mean an awfull lot more work for me.  But that is the nature of the game is it not?

Laters,

Chalkster

I’m now all up for a English manager for our national team now, my only issue with that is that will it be Harry Redknap.  In fact I’m pretty certain he will be the new manager.  How do I feel about it?  I’m disappointed and will now follow Germany to the end of this competition (and apparently I’m one of 70% of England fans that will according to “stats”), no comment on the double agent question.  The good thing that is that I could do without the distraction, and without the early beer sessions.  I’ve been running but not lost any weight, so after next weeks Cowley Road Carnival, I’m off the booze for a month.

Will it Work

You know I just need to find something that works for me a balence, The amount of exercise I ‘ve taken to doing would maintain me at my ideal weight, it just keeping the motivation to get there. I’ve got close a few times, and let it all go again.  I do also think that once I’m shooting full time I wont be doing the comfort food or the sitting around waiting on things all the time.  I suspect also when I do eventually and happily couple up, the desire to be out drinking all the time will disappear.  Who knows, I just really want to get there.

RUN RUN RUN

So after Wednesday [I’m at a film Premiere and drinks on Tuesday night] I’m to start running and sit ups everyday.  I have to sort this out, everything else in my life is about to hit it big time.  So lets be fit for it eh, Chalkster?

Laters,

Chalkster

I consider myself very lucky at the moment, I’m genuinely moving into  the world of feature films.  Bu not only that I’m also being looked after by a number of very bright and very well connected mentors.  Some times I’m just given hints or quick ideas to look at.  One of those this time is for me very interesting.  A different way of using 35ml, which is historically the most expensive way of filming, but by using less of the negative you get twice the amount of footage on the same role of film, and better rates for developing.  It’s interesting when you call around and get quotes as although it’s not a new technology, it could be seen as a way of saving the film format with digital taking up huge chunks of the market.  For this reason they are offering amaising details [as long as you name drop a little].  So it looks very much like the quality of our first feature will be bigger and better then ever expected.

 DoP’s

I also get to meet my joint DoP’s on Tuesday and they have got me a +1 to the Baseline Premiere, it gives me another chance to dust the Tux off.  There could be a number of people I know going judging by the list of cast and crew on IMDB.

Come on England

Please beat Germany.

One of the reasons I’ve managed to get involved and had the career success in my life is simply that I’m willing to put myself outside of my comfort zone.  At the moment that is learning to budget, something that I’ve been avoiding doing.  We started and had a really good bash at it last week, this week I’ve been thinking about it and feel ready to smooth it out a little.  Its the most daunting thing I think I have ever had to do.  In fact I would not have done it had it not been for Bazza being willing to step outside of his comfort zone too.  It’s also made us learn far more about the whole process of making this film.

Meetings

And the more we learn the more we can really talk the talk to the people that matter.  The sheer amount that we have learnt in just a year is frickin’ Frightening.  I think we stand out to the people that we talk to and you knever know, maybe just maybe they are the missing link we are so desperate for….

Laters,

Chalkster

So yesterday Si was ruined by not being able to sleep, today it’s my turn, I’ve been up for at least a couple of hours now, and I’m going for a run in a couple of hours.  Hopefully that will invigorate me and perhaps I’ll have an effective day.  As it happens I’m watching an old Cybill Shepard in a TV adaption of the Martha Stewart Story.  It’s interesting mostly because I’ve been watching re-runs of Moonlighting, a hugely influential show on me, my writing and my directing [I only realised as I watched the re-runs].  Its weird though to see somebody age by nearly thirty years in just a few months.  On one program she is in her prime [making millions] and in the next she is old and scratching for work.

Some People

I often wonder how some people survive, I’ve been pulled into doing a free ‘charity’ video, that seams to me is not very charity, so we are not being paid for.  And here is the rub, as usual when doing a favor for somebody that you don’t really know, they keep pushing the boundaries if what they are getting for nothing.  It’s naturally this type of person that gets everything for free or little effort all their lives.  They seam to be missing some simple common courtesy’s like the words thank you or just the ability to remember your name.  What tends to happen is they get a less then impressive work from you because you stop caring.  Interestingly they will blame you and not look at the reasons the project has not been as good as it could have been: - Its their fault. Externalisers!

Laters,

Chalkster

Managed the whole rout again today, this time accompanied by my mate Alex.  He has to get up even earlier as he walks over to my house first.  Impressive.  We managed the circuit in 23 minutes which is around 3 off where we should be and 20 off my final target run time.  I know it does not sound very impressive, but please take into account that I am 3 stone overweight and have never, never been a runner.  I used to take short cuts or simply walk at school cross country [which was a weird name for it as we ran on the streets [and I walked/took shortcuts]].  As it happens two of the people that I’m running with are cross country record holders [Norfolk and Somerset].  Out of practice and unfit, but surely soon to be hampered by me!  I’m also intending to get to the point where I can run six times a week.  Time will tell.

And Why Go Through ALL OF THIS

Fat people annoy me, me inclusive.  My weight annoys me and has done for around 15 years.  I yo-yo with my size, whilst I remain fairly fit.  Every time I get close to where I want to be something happens and it all goes pear shaped [literally].  So I hope I can build a habit that is no a chore and then a good state of health will follow.  It also means that dealing with hard decisions after twelve hours of filming can be made properly because I will be thinking strait.

And Filming

Waiting to hear from producers is killing me, it really is.  But I know that it’s all going to work out.  I just need to be more busy. A lot more busy!  Arghhhhhhhhhhhh.

Laters,

Chalkster

And I made sure that I didn’t watch it again.  I don’t go to the cinema anywhere near as much as I should or I want to.  Money at the moment is too much of an issue… And they don’t let dogs in. the point though is that I spent proper cinema going money watching this durge a few years ago.  That is time and money that could have been spent wiser, like in the toilet and on toilet role.

The thing is

I cant help slagging the film off because it is so poor.  I decided to look into some revues on IMDB and the people that do rate it highly seam to be rating it  as a great film, not because its a great film but because the people that made it financed it themselves.  One of the first rules of film making is that if you cant get somebody else to invest it’s normally because it’s not commercial or simply not good enough.  I’m not hugely experienced, so I get in experienced people to help me and learn from them.  Occasionally I may disagree and make a different choice, but not without listening and really exploring why you do something.  Open Water, breaks a lot of the rules and not in a good way.  What it did get was a healthy finishing fund (yup they still did the edit like that) and a huge marketing campain.  People went to see it because of the people that made it, not film and that is still the reason people like it.

Watch it again

If you liked it, I hate to make you waist that time again, but the second time around you will likely see it for what it is, a waist of money that could have been spent on real talent.  Don’t agree with me, then tell me what the director writer has done since.  Tell me what the actors have done, surley it should have propelled them to stardom if it is so good?  And It’s just been shown on ITV1!  Its disgusting.  Show the Maltese Falcon again, show anything but that!

Rant over!

Laters,

ChalkStar

That, friends of mine would think that the struggle to  get “No Balls” made, is folly, something that is not going to happen.  I cant say that I’m surprised or upset.  I’m not even disappointed.  It had never crossed my mind before.  I don’t know who does not believe that we will make it, and I don’t really care very much if I have to be honest.  I’m not sure why anybody would be bothered either way?  It’s all just very negative, which is the exact opposite the reaction of the mejority of people, certainly to my face.  In fact that is a little bit rude, as the support we are getting is remarkable.

Luck pays off with hard work

It’s a year ago to the day that we shot “Chop!” and so much has happens since.  In many ways I wish I could shoot it again with the knowledge that I have gained from shooting it in the first place.  Fortunately I have worked on films and continued to learn at what for me is a fierce pace.  Who would ever have thought I could learn so much, me? And I do seam to have come across some real fortune in the people that I have met and apparently impressed.  Its one thing learning a new set of skills and impressing on a career the skills that have been developed in a past life, but to have seasoned and trustworthy experts take you under their wings is quite another.

Fortune Favors The Brave

Every now and then I have to have a quiet moment and in that time I make sure that I stay grounded.  I’m extreamely close to having my dream career.  I have to confidence to go through with it and the skills and inteligence to have a very good go.  But it’s a big, big thing, that could all to quickly become skary if not kept in check.  But hey is that not half the pleasure?  Well?  And for my doubters, I’m really sorry but I’ve got no more time for you, I cant afford to.

Laters

Chalkster