Boom, and that is all there is too it. Unfortunately those decisions are tough, tough, tough. I’ve been burned enough to realise that its certainly not an easy journey.  However… At the end of the day we are very close to doing something exceptional. You will often hear tales of woe from people like myself that want to make movies, get their films financed and made. Yes it’s a struggle to convince everybody. Really difficult. but it’s not going to happen if the idea’s not thought out and you don’t have a great script. To make it easier you also have to show that if people do put money in, they will get that money back out, preferably with more cash in their pockets. MUCH MORE. If you sit on the “The world is against me, or the I deserve it because I’ve worked in the industry for 125 years so I know more then everybody else, then you’re never going to get it done are you?You get knocked down then get back up dust yourself off, work out what is your fault, correct it and go again. The minute you start pushing the blame in other people before you access yourself is the moment you are starting to fail.

And That is The Reason

That some people leave our projects. I hope that they take a good look at themselves and realise it is because of what they have or have not done, badly made decisions. Dog it dog people!

Laters,

Chalkster

And whilst the achievements we were expecting to have done have not all been, er, achieved. We are certainly on the right track at the moment.  It’s been a very, very hard year, and had it not been for an awful lot of support from friends and family I’m not entirely sure how I would have got through it.

Off in the wrong direction

I’ve learned to trust my gut over the past 30 odd years and am rarely wrong on the big decisions for it.  But sometimes my lack of patience makes me override that feeling.  The most damaging time for that was the beginning of the year and the repercussions are to some extent being felt today.  Main lesson learned? Check people’s credentials out carefully. If they say they worked for one of the largest film companies, make sure that it was not front of house at their local cinema. At the level we are working on, that just don’t cut the mustard they were putting on your hotdogs. It’s also a time when you realise some people will take advantage of you and never expect to deliver anything.  But that’s okay, they will put the blame firmly on your shoulders. The rub is we have some very competent people in charge of the big project now, and it’s bigger and better then ever before.

On the right track

The script has come on leaps and bounds and Si and I feel we are back in control of it. The dirge dialog that we were forced to include has long since disappeared and some of our favorite moments have re-appeared. We have even been lucky enough to have some Script master class time with our friend and mentor Mike. We’ve learned so much about story and characters that our original ramblings and attempts at writing seam to be a distant memory. I’m not sure I even want to read them again, though I might as a form of inspiration. I often wonder how we were so lucky as to find such a strong group of people to help us into this harsh business.  At the moment we can only repay them one way and that’s by working hard and proving that we have listened to everything they have told us, that we have improved through our associations.

On Set

I also got back on set this year, and met some childhood hero’s  without any real disappointment.  Whilst my expectation of the film are held realistically low, I did get to meet and make friends with some very talented individuals who I really would like to work with again. It was also nice to start the whole thing of as a Head of Department with authority from the off.  Although my hands were tied with regards to dealing with some of the laziest in for themselves wankers anybody could hope to meet.  Hopefully they will learn that their are many other people that can do their jobs, they are not special.  For me though it was a great chance to prove how much I’ve learned and do a good job.  They film, I’ll leave that up to the director and producers.

SFC

The first year without a season ticket in ages, and I still blame those charlatans for putting Baz and myself in financial jeopardy.  Worst still we have only seen the mighty Southampton a few times this year, and as we start the new year we are at the top of the Championship.  That’s something they will never be able to give back to me, and I will never forgive. Hopefully next year we will get to go to see them more regularly back in the Premiership.  Hugely optimistic.

Tech

Still learning, and the film will be shot in a very new and state of the art format, which is very exciting.

So

On with the year, it’s set to be very exciting and there is much work to do, but one hope that this time next year No Balls will be in the charts :)

Laters,

Chalkster

Every time we do a project we get that little bit closer to getting the final result.  Even I see the improvement in my work project on project.   The only rub for me is I dream each and everyone continually as I work on them and as time moves forward.  Songs, text, dialog… All spinning around my head continually.

Latest Video…

Which I have to say I’m very pleased with and it’s getting a nice number of hits, which is great for me and Shattered Dreams. I also got to do an Edit for an F1 driver, but because of copy-write issues. I can’t publish that for you chap’s to see. I wish I could.

I have a say

I think next year will be a very, very busy one!

Laters,

Chalkster

Life doesn’t really stop for anybody does it? I realised the other day that I’ve had my mobile number for 17 years or more.  That whilst I’ve been focused on making it as a film director, that I’ve become fat and live has whizzed by. I don’t mind getting older, in many respects I’m better for it.  I certainly could not have been making a film as good as No Balls without the maturity that the aging process has furnished me with.  It’s just sometimes you ponder these things.  But this time next year I should have achieved my lifetimes ambition.  And not many people when I was younger would have believed me  capable of doing that.  So I’m about to have nearly everything I ever wanted.  Still I feel a little empty.

So we do stupid things

We do, I haven’t talked about this for a while, but I guess one of my driving forces was an ex girlfriend, still the love of my life though I’m hopeful not the only one, and I am a believer. I don’t think we had a messy break up, but I was heart broken and mourned for seven years, which only stopped after a profound dream.  The thing is she told me that I would never amount to anything, that I’d never be an importent member of society.  Worst of all that I would never go to the theater.  Now don’t get me wrong, this was horrible, but its one of the major motivators in my life. I’m not worried particularly what society thinks of me though I would like to make a difference I guess.  Retrospectively and pointed out by my brother, this was probably the words of her mother, not hers. And she did apologise for saying it, time and time again, but the damage had set in. The only way I could deal with the pain in the end was to shut her out of my life. Which bar a few chance encounters and a few emails about ten years ago, I have done.  So why then did I decide it was time to look her up? 15 years after the split?  I don’t know it’s almost very self destructive.  I have no idea  what I was hoping to achieve? I think part of me wanted her to be unhappy, ugly and lonely. Of course she is Happy, successful, married and a mother; all the things she should be. And I’m happy for her.  I look at my life and I know whats missing, it’s that partnership and being a parent.  Don’t get me wrong I love my life, my friends, my animals and that I get to make films.

Would you change things then?

When I look back I can’t blame the girl for ending it, I was depressed, I took too many pain-killers and my glass was always half empty.  I would have dumped the old me. Had I been a different person, or had we met as older people then perhaps things could have been different. But that’s not to be, and without all those things happening, would I be the person I am now? I doubt it very much.  I feel a little sad at the moment, but I’ve a funny feeling I just needed closure before I could finish this thing I’ve started. My life is close to being what I’ve always wanted and I need to vanquish my daemons and move on with it. Hopefully without hurting anybody in the process.

Laters,

Chalkster

It would appear that No Balls is very, Very Close to becoming a very, very real thing.  As in actually happening.   In months rather then years.  And this weekend, I’ve really started to feel the pressure.  I’m going to have to stop to favors fairly soon.  Just because I wont have the time and I will need to bring a very sharp focus into the production.  This is my one shot at a career that I’ve dreamed of all my life. There is nothing else I wan to do and to have to do something else would be an immense letdown. It’s not about being able to tell people that I’m a film writer or director, it’s about making a really fucking good film.  Better then people expect.  Not cutting corners thinking out every moment of it.  And it’s that realisation that is scary.  I’ve an awful lot to do and an awful lot riding on it.

So that’s who I am?

I Found out what Chalkster is in an urban dictionary.  Could not have put it better myself.

Disappointed

Just went to see a local filmmakers short down at the picture palace. I was really hoping that it would be good.  I though that it was likely to be pretentious, but that it had the chance of being technically and literary very good. Sadly it was not only pretentious, it was possibly the worst short film I’ve ever seen.  I really upset by it and how poor it was.  It came from guys who have taken the OFVM courses, so there really was no excuse for it. We legged it afterwards so that we didn’t have to compliment it. Gutted.

More Video’s

I helped out Hayley Nolan and up and coming comedy actress who’s just moved to LA, by filming editing her Short Sketch “Sue Silvester’s Daughter”which seams to have really taken off…

Also been catching up with an old Pal, who is interested in doing some writing with the team.  Check out this video of his:

Whats happening now?

I’m just finishing a video for Nick Cope called “My Socks” which is a lovely childrens peace.  Which I”l post in the next week or two.  And we are filming 4 short Virals for Atomic Burger and Atomic Pizza  this week.  All frickin’ go!

Laters,

Chalkster

I really don’t think that I regret my change in career. It’s been six or seven years since I left easynet in the pursuit of happiness.  I’m not sure the motivation for less stress has been found, but a much more meaningful and fulfilling life has ensued.  I’m sat in a hotel in the middle of Derby getting ready for another night shoot 4pm until 4am.  I’ll be outside in five minutes helping people out so that closer to a 3pm start for me.  I’ll likely not finish until 5 or 6am.  And that is a short day or me.  But it doesn’t feel like that.  I get to socialise all day with like minded people.  Not something I actually expected.

 I do however

Miss my friends, loved ones and my dog. Its a long time to be away from home. But as they say it’s on the home stretch now.

You can check out U.F.O. on IMDB.

Laters,

Chalkster

It’s interesting you know, I grew up a photographers son.  My dad came from the times where he made his own chemicals and emulsions out of the kitchen cupboard and thick paper.  A dare say he made his own pinhole camera (I know I did).  I learned on medium format and 35ml doing a little freelance work up until I was in my late teens.  I gave up all but an amateur interest for the next fifteen odd years.  My interest has however been brought right back into focus through my friendship with James Lyon, a photographer that I believe is just about to hit a very rich vain of form. And I was a real critic early on.  Recently I managed to update my photographic portfolio a little and shoot a promo for him on the south coast. The pictures are his not mine.

Due South from James Lyon on Vimeo.

Fear

I’m very close to signing a new option with a new producer on “No Balls” which I’m very pleased about.  My only fear is that we will end up having to take on a bigger named director then myself.  Could I work on the project with somebody else at the helm?  It’s a tough call that I really don’t want to have to take, but its a real possibility.  Life I’m afraid can be really tough.  The shame would be that I’m so very confident of my ability, and the humor is so delicate that I fear it would be lost on somebody else’s watch.  Bloody fucking hell, let me keep it!

Disappointment, selfishness, internalising & so much more

I’ve been horribly let down by a close friend, who left me in a world of trouble after giving me nearly a year of trouble.  I’m always happy to try and help people out, even passing on my limited knowledge and opening my address book, and against my little voice’s advice this time allowing them to live in my house.  In a perfect world friends would be able to stay over for months at a time for nothing.  But In tough times like this when I’m on a financial knife edge?  So constantly letting me down was bad enough, but to then not pay at all so that they can put a deposit down to move in with friends is beyond belief.  Career be damned, short term damaging choices ruin careers.  I learned a long time ago that you don’t shit on your friends, if you do you apologise.  Sometimes you just use up all the good will in the world and leave the favor cupboard bare. I’d be angry if I wasn’t so disappointed by my own naivety.  Just because somebody wants to do the same thing as you are doing, doesn’t mean they have the same set of morals and that they have any level of ability.  But hey next time I’ll sit with my legs wider apart so you can really kick me in them? Or not.  The sades thing?  I’m unlikely to ever try and help anybody as much again.

Laters,

Chalkster

France

It’s been a while since I have spent time over at mum and dads little farm house in France.  Things have changed here.  Though their holding largely remains unchanged, the roads have been modernised and the local neighbourhood has grown.  Sadly the most exciting thing for me is that Pete next door has had broadband put in and allows me to use his wireless connection.

My plans then?

Are actually to do a little bit of relaxing where I won’t be kept awake.  We have three or four scripts under development at the moment and I would like to break the back of at least one of them. Somebody I have a lot of trust in has suggested that we should also be selling some of these. My biggest problem with that is how attached I get to tem and the characters as we go along.

I could tell you then I’d have to kill you

At this moment in time I’d like to think that No Balls will be a one off.  I don’t want it to be the type of film that I always make.  Now don’t get me wrong, I do love it.  I love that it makes so many people laugh, and that so many people are excited about the project.  I almost convinced that this will be the one film in my life that has that effect. It’s just that there are other places that I want to explore.  Other darker places.  I want to look into people and represent them.  I want to go back in time and show a time past in splendour.  I want to reach into the deepest places of my mind and open them up.  I also want to re-invent and breath life into my childhood hero’s.  One from a “British book for boys” and another cult classic film from seventies America.

This week though?

We are going back to the Second World War and looking at part of the “Nemesis Universe”.  Be warned, this one is a doozey.

Do I feel lucky?

I certainly feel that I’m doing the right thing with my life and there is a capability and a heavy weight of expectation.

Laters,

Chalkster

Well, not really.  but I hadn’t thought to update until a realised a friend had been having a butchers!  It’s pretty tough updating right now because whilst I’m working hard on getting the film put together it’s nigh on impossible for me to openly discuss whats gone on recently and what is going on at the moment.  Needless to say I’m hoping to announce a new partnership which I believe will make the film happen.

In the meantime..

We are close to agreeing a few more music video’s and my photography is cumming on in leaps and bounds along with a multitude of new sript ideas, concepts and outline drafts.   I’m hopping that we will look back and remember these hard times with a smile and a foundness only time can give.

Alfa Heaven

My little alfa 156 met it’s maker a few weeks ago.  We all have painful whiplash, but we are surviving.  It’s just a shame that I had to loose a car that I was so found of…. I’ll post some photo’s.

Until then!

Laters,

Chalkster

Well, there have been some delays in the film, mostly due to circumstances outside of my control.  But these things have now been dealt with and we are moving things forward, hopefully more rapidly then before. It’s infuriatingly frustrating, however it is pointless getting angry or letting these things get to you.  That is in fact how you loose track of the important things in your life and the project.

In the meantime…

Tom And I have put together a show-reel of work that should hopefully impress at least a couple of people.

Martyn Chalk - Director Showreel from Martyn Chalk on Vimeo.

And Tomorrow?

We start moving on.  My hope is that it will be a very good day.

Laters,

Chalkster